appaloosa

ed harris and viggo mortensen star as law men, gun men, friends, who are up against a villain, jeremy irons, in this western set in the 1800's. all in all, i would say this film is definitely worth watching, though the dialog can get a bit slow sometimes. this film poses the question: is it possible to love a woman who is not at all loyal to you, and only you?

rachel getting married

there are few films as emotional as this film. --in terms of how it affects the viewer. anne hathaway is great in this film. the main character has been in rehab and comes home for her sister's wedding. with amazing music, this is a treat of a film. i especially appreciate films about the 12 steps and how people go through recovery, and this film is amazing in that way.

what doesn't kill you

what doesn't kill you is essentially a story set around working class boston, crime, prison, and redemption. it's worth seeing, because the main character has a choice. he can either continue to follow a losing path (crime) or he can do the right thing. work. support his family. even if his jobs are humble, menial, and discouraging. the thing i liked about this film was the 12 step program, the alcoholism treatment, that offers hope to all addicts, and a way out from the losing path, the downward spiral.

quarantine

quarantine is a film advertised as "the scariest movie" of the year. i'm not sure i would agree, but it may be one of the silliest. an infection from a mad dog turns people into zombie-like creatures that attack the necks of those who have not yet been infected. the highlight of the film was a girl, maybe 7 years old, attacking the neck of an adult. the film starts with a kind of reality tv show air, with a female TV reporter spending time with a fire fighting squad. little does she know that later that night, they will be in a house where the authorities have barricaded the doors and windows and will shoot to kill anyone who tries to escape the house. i like horror films, and this is a typical film of the genre. it does make you think about what kind of steps the authorities will take to quarantine sick people in the event of a contagious and horrible disease.

love for law enforcement

there is a concept that the poor

who get harrassed by the police

either hate or fear or are angry with the police

or they are drug addicts. dealing, buying, using drugs.

they don't know how to communicate in love. they fight, hair is pulled out,

there is domestic violence.

and so a show like cops increases the anger, the fear, the hatred,

the suffering between the poor and the police.

but if buddha were here, he would not want there to be fear, hatred, anger, fleeing,

etc.

and drug addiction is a kind of slavery. the buddha would want you free of that slavery.

so if you struggle, if you fight, if you increase the hatred,

then you are merely increasing the conflict.

better to work, like the dalai lama does about tibetan issues,

in a spirit of harmony, with the belief that in the long term

love conquers hate.

wizards and women

in both tolkien and in the movie excalibur there is a sense

that wizards themselves (gandalf and merlin)

cannot have a girlfriend. they cannot have romance. they cannot get married.

the female sorceror taunts the wizard merlin. "perhaps you want what you cannot have."

someone once said that (was it nietzsche?) that socrates got married

specifically because it was absurd for a philosopher to be married.

he did it for the absurdity of it.

is there a sense in which it could be said that philosopher and wizards are similar?

both deal with basic, fundamental patterns of what life is. what society is. ideas. thoughts.

someone gets under a spell that says that he is to go out and spend money at the bookstore on something.

so he does it.

but a wizard will examine the spell, where the spell came from (in the case of advertising)

while the philosopher will examine the psychology of consumerism, what exactly is gained,

what exactly is lost, when you collect more "stuff" and why do you do it in the first place?

when a "magic man" does have a woman, as in the case of the song by heart, magic man,

he may only have her for a while, until something else happens. not holy matrimony.

thus, there may come a time when people lay aside their childish things,

and simply accept their destiny, as when "this rough magic i thee abjure" in shakespeare,

when the wizard in the tempest says. he gives up his magick. just as a writer

must eventually write his last play, his last short story, or whatever. a writer

is like a wizard as well. words, sentences, are spells to conjure up feelings.

sometimes someone may give up magic, because they may say

if i get what i want because of magic, maybe someone or something somewhere else in this universe

suffers because of it. or maybe karma will bring the suffering around full circle back to me.

better to be a buddhist.

better to be a stoic.

better to be a taoist.

better to be a christian.

gandalf (from fellowship of the rings dvd extended edition)

i'm slowly making my way through the fellowship of the ring dvd extended edition--

i say slowly because sometimes i only watch about 10 or 15 minutes of it before going to bed.

one of my favorite characters is gandalf the grey, who later becomes gandalf the white

when he becomes head of his order of wizards. he is a wizard for good,

and never hesitates to take on the evil demon from ages past, even though he wasn't sure

he could take him. he did that to save the lives of his friends, on the quest.

yes i really admire the wizard. "i am keeper of the sacred flame of..." (or whatever.)

he shouts at the demon.

it's kind of like the exorcist in the exorcist. "the power of Christ compels you!"

then the idea that his power is in his staff is interesting to me.

when he came back from the gods he had a new staff, therefore

vastly expanded powers, including the power to break the staff of saruman

(some say that saru-man means the man of sorrow, which means

he lost hope and sold out. gandalf never really lost hope.)

of course we have gandalf's love of hobbits, which is endearing as well.

he is not too proud to set off some fireworks for the children.

he is not too proud to sit and smoke the "halfling's leaf" with bilbo.

when the gods sent him back to earth, it was clear that the good side was going to win.

and that's what all these adolescent quest adventures tend to be about: good vs. evil.

how do you overcome evil? by fighting it?

but the buddha said, hatred does not by hatred cease, but by love.

more on cops

there are homeless people who get into pools of water in las vegas, trying to scoop up coins that have been tossed in there. the cops who are filmed arresting this guy who did that, tried repeatedly to get him to admit that he was wrong in "stealing" the coins.

it is true that there are few resources in this country for the poor, the homeless. and when they do try to get some coins, they are persecuted for having stolen coins from casinos, who themselves use systems to get money from the public. these systems are fixed, and so you have the story of the man in las vegas who wandered down the street, shouting, "you took all my money!" that is the insanity of las vegas.

yet for a homeless man, a man who has been homeless for some time, he ends up as a TV star in a reality show, ending up in jail for stealing some coins. that is the cops show. that is what i watch at night, since i don't have cable TV, i have to take what i can get, in terms of TV.

and that is our social welfare net: either homelessness or jail. and a TV crew to film the homeless as "criminals."

the rockford files

i was looking forward to getting the rockford files on DVD. finally i got it. the first season. i appreciate stories based on private detective archetypes. but after having watching 5 or 6 of the episodes, i see that every episode mirrors somewhat every other episode. the private detective himself, rockford, is an ex-con, something that cops like to point out. they say he's crud. he runs into extreme anger from the cops. he deals with wealthy people who are able to afford his services. there is a car chase. there is danger. and it ends on a funny note. often he doesn't even get paid, and he ends grinning, as if, as james garner says, he's not in it for the money. the main thing that i like about the series is that it was made at a time before the cop was the main character of virtually every show. so a common man, living in a trailer, was the main character, and was always defiant to people in power. in the 80's we got movies based on cops as main characters, and starting with reality TV shows on late at night, we now get to see poor people, addicts, down on their luck, being almost tortured by cops who eventually find the rocks of crack cocaine that they've hidden in their mouth or in their wallet. cops, as a show, is the opposite of the rockford files: in cops, the cop himself is the main character, and the poor are oppressed because of their addiction. and it's on every night now where i live. could it be said that the poor don't know any better than to get addicted? or if they are addicted, do they deserve to be oppressed by the police? and do everyday citizens have to watch that if they turn on the TV set? the idea that justice is something beyond merely what the police do is something that draws anger: cops get angry at rockford when he says something about the law. "you yardbird lawyers..." likewise, the cops get particularly scornful when they find a lawyer who has passed out, having done too much cocaine or other drugs. "the wheels of justice turn slowly," they say, implying that a lawyer is the worst of all scum. most people in the rockford files are angry, except those who have a scheme, or who are working an angle. people have their own business, and go about their own business. as one philosopher said, society is best served if we all as individuals go about our own business. take care of your own business. but the private detective is the one who must go about finding out other people's business. and if he is a common man, who has been to prison, he has several strikes against him, and he has to be tough. that's the good thing about rockford files: he's tough, it's a job he can do, he's not in it for the money, and he has a sense of humor.

but now that i've seen a number of first season rockford files shows, it occurred to me i don't need the other seasons. if you've seen a few episodes, you pretty much know what's going to happen in a show.

star trek

i don't know what to say about star trek. it's a crowd pleaser. there's a younger version of scotty, of kirk, of spock, of sulu, uhura, and so on. i liked the addition of the elder version of spock. of course with two spocks you have to have time travel, but other than that i won't give away the plot. i thought it was worth seeing, but in some ways it was just what it could be predicted to be: each character has certain ways of speaking based on the original character. it's a pop culture phenomenon, and that's where the same old patterns come up again and reappear. there is also a sense in which the enterprise and the federation are portraying themselves as "a peaceful armada" yet they go out in ships outfitted for war. well, you might say, they have to defend themselves. and in our time america, as an idea, is a purely democratic society, the last best hope for mankind on earth, you might say. well, there's always two sides to a story. the victor gets to write the history books. empires grow until they run up to other empires, then they struggle and one becomes weaker, one becomes stronger. the idea that the federation is a purely peaceful armada seems to be at least partially based in propaganda. still, i appreciate the idea of a perfect society set in the future where money itself is no longer in existence.

the music within

if you were ever curious about the origins of the great piece of legislation that recognizes the rights of the disabled, the americans with disabilities act, this film, the music within, tells that story. the main character, richard, becomes convinced that he can get a good job, regardless of the fact that he was made deaf in vietnam. he dedicates his life to fighting for the rights of the disabled. it's a great story, and a story that needed to be told. the music is good, as the story progresses from the 60's, the 70's, and so on. and the main character is fierce in insisting that, for example, his good friend with cerebral palsy should be able to go to a restaurant and eat pancakes without being denied service. everyone is equal in the eyes of God, as God is no respecter of persons. that leaves it to us to extend and protect the rights of individuals that need that protection in law.

slumdog millionaire

in getting slumdog millionaire i thought it would be a rags to riches story. it was better than i expected. it is a comment on the state of the caste system in india, on put downs and barriers in place, as well as being set in an emerging capitalist india that has massive call centers, etc. i love india. i don't know if i can put this exactly in words, but i am a Christian, but i respect the way india has held on to its culture and religion. i love india. i love the holy men of india. though i have been a student of zen and am now a Christian. and i love movies that, despite the odds, have a happy ending. a love story that goes from childhood to adulthood. an overcoming of the caste system, to open the door to a new life. an amazing film.

fling, also known as lie to me

fling is a movie about an open relationship. as both parties date and fall in love with other people, the relationship's future is in doubt. the acting is fairly good, and the actors themselves are familiar, if not recognizable by name. the actors do a creditable job, and the movie is worth watching, but it is by no means an important film. but the story was worth telling. the main character is a fool in a classical sense, thinking that it would be ok if other people have sex and romance with his girlfriend. both parties are deluding themselves, and it is no surprise when the relationship falls apart.

what just happened

what just happened has some funny moments, but all in all i don't think i would recommend shelling out even 2 or 3 dollars to rent it. robert deniro plays a deceptive agent in hollywood who never quite says what he means. bruce willis is the hero of a movie who has gained too much weight and who will not shave his face, despite much pressure from the studio. i thought it was worth seeing, if you are a film student (at least a self-defined film student, or a film geek) but for most people, the dryness of the humor would not make the film worthwhile.

burn after reading

i loved parts of burn after reading. there is an absurdity about it that is rarely on film. as a comedy it was a great success. george clooney plays a sleazy guy who cruises the internet picking up girls. frances mcdormand is a rather shallow character herself, thinking that plastic surgery is the key to having a better life. i liked the parts of the plot that had to do with espionage, the espionage culture. all in all, a great film.

quantum of solace

quantum of solace is about what i thought it would be. high speed, lots of explosions and collapsing buildings, chases. i'm glad i saw it, but that's about all i can say about it. every james bond film requires a villain. a villain who is evil and kills people in horrible ways. now that so many james bond films have been made, the question is: in what way is james bond different? he is an assassin, killing people apparently without regret for his actions. the local paper here ran a review that described the latest james bond as essentially a serial killer. and there is that point of view. he who lives by the sword shall die by the sword. still, i guess when a new james bond film is made, i will be among those renting it or going to the theater to see it. maybe i have been programmed by all the other james bond films i have seen. and that is what we need to rise above: to rise above the conditioning that says the man of war, the killer, is the essence of "what it means to be a man."

religulous

i liked the spirit behind the humor of religulous. best of all was the scene where bill maher was shouting out the beliefs of scientology in a park in london. speaker's corner. "how do you people expect to make it to the next level!" he shouts. i liked that because a lot of religions are like that. there's some other level to get to. some cults call it the level beyond human. religions are so crazy that some people commit suicide with 5 dollars or whatever in quarters in their pocket, thinking that they will get to the spaceship by committing suicide. people aren't content to just be where they are, doing what they're doing. no, there's always another level to get to, with religion. well, i'm not going to drink the poisoned kool aid. steer clear of a religion when it decides to relocate to guyana. still, i am a Christian, and will be until the day i die. there is a lot i don't understand about Christianity, so i stick with the things i do understand, and hopefully work from there. so i am not offended by bill maher poking fun at religions. and it makes a great comedic film, a documentary, but what are you left with without religion? a kind of hedonism and humanism. i do admit i get tired of bill maher sometimes. to follow catholicism blindly is one thing, but is being a wiseacre the only other alternative?

w

when w was in the theater, i was tempted to go and see it. now that it came to dvd, i rented it, and it was pretty much what i expected. you see w saying, for example, "i'm the decider." you get the crew talking about authorizing torture, using other terms. but the story of w is a story of a man who believed he had been called by God to become president. he is a strange guy. a born again Christian. and i believe myself to be a born again as well. god bless him, in his new life after being president. i myself am not a republican, but i think this story was worth telling in the form of a film. as far as the war mongering and torture usage, i think that was horrible. america should never be in favor of that. i think the republican party should look long and hard at the wreckage created by w of the republican party's chances, and change their ways. still, i have to salute anyone who has been saved by Jesus Christ. the relationship with his father was also interesting.

the visitor

the visitor is a good film about a man, a middle aged professor, who's lost any meaning in his life, who encounters a young couple and has his life turned around. he learns to play the drum. it's a radical change in his life. i would recommend this film. the film is also about illegal immigrants and how they are harshly treated by the american system.

revolver

guy ritchie directed this film, which in the end seems to be an allegory of the conscious mind vs. the ego. the bible says the proud shall fall. and the main character of this film is proud. he refuses to bow to the authority of the main mafia guy in town. (or at least the guy controlling the gambling.) so... is the movie worth seeing? i think so. there were moments i fast forwarded however. it seems appropriate that the (former) husband of madonna would direct a film about an allegory about the ego. at the end we learn from spiritual teachers that the ego, externalized, is what we think of as the devil. the film is about a man who's in prison, in solitary confinement, and the two people next to him are a con man and a chess master. a lot of the movie is about con games, about the way that in a chess game the master will feed pieces to the other person, make the other person feel powerful, before swooping in for the kill, to win the chess game.

how the west was won

in the process of watching every jimmy stewart movie, i started watching a lot of westerns. there was a time in my life when i didn't like westerns much. now that i'm older, i have started to appreciate westerns as a pure form of movie, good guys, bad guys, warriors, dames, and so on. how the west was won was not a movie based on character. it's more of a movie, following i think 3 generations of a family, as the west was opened up to exploration, gold mining, settlement, and as there were conflicts with the american indians. there are some memorable moments in the film, which was filmed cinerama or whatever, it's a wide screen film. overall, though, this film is just another western to have seen. i consider myself to be a film student, and there is something satisfying about having seen a film like how the west was won. i talked to someone, a close relative, about the film, and he said he had flipped the tv on and watched part of it, then flipped elsewhere, and did this a couple of times, and so he felt he didn't need to see the whole film. my point, however, is that there is something good about watching a film from beginning to end, not flipping the channel, etc. from beginning to end. a story. from alpha to omega. the whole thing. anyway... yeah this movie is somewhat memorable, but just because of the cast. a lot of big names are in this film. the story itself is basic enough. and it has deep chords to those who are in the midwest already, where just a few hundred years ago settlers came in from the east.

hot writing

i never gave the term "hotmail" much thought, for a long time. but then i realized at some point that "hot" refers to something available from any internet terminal, anywhere in the world. one time i tried to enter my email address when trying to contact someone from high school, at a web site, and the message came back, "no hot linking allowed." then a police officer one time referred to my house as a "hot house." or was that my imagination? i thought, later, that he might be referring to all the books in the house. but no, that would be fahrenheit 451 if that were true. or it might be a resentment against anyone who uses the internet, by those more old fashioned, who just use the tv set. or there are other possibilities. i am just now starting to love Jesus Christ more every day, to the point that my Christianity would govern every decision i make, so that i am not a hypocrite. so i don't really know what the police officer meant when he said my house was a "hot house." but i do know there is a higher Law than man's law, and that is God's Law. the Law of sin and redemption, salvation from sin and the effects of sin. now i walked into the library one time and someone called me a "hot writer." (or was this too my imagination?) i realized this may just mean that i am a blogger, that i give away my writing for free over the internet. as a society, we are still working out the problems of zero cost on the internet, giving away things for zero cost. how then would the artists get paid? so i guess, yes, i am a "hot writer." and i am not ashamed to say that i prefer the internet to tv. in fact i hope i never again subscribe to cable tv. but i do miss the movie channels. like from the 40's and 50's. if tv is a mirror, then it is in some ways an evil mirror. because we live in a fallen world. a world governed by powers and principalities against God. so be careful when you turn on the tv set. in some ways there is a "reality field" between you and the tv set. it's just not a reality you want to join. my question: if you enjoy mafia movies, and someone gets killed in the tv show, then are you in some way participating in the reality of the mafia by voluntarily watching that show? i think you might be. so in my watching, i try to watch police shows, private detective shows, and spy films, when it comes to drama and action.

gonzo: the life and work of dr. hunter s. thompson

i don't know exactly what to say about the documentary gonzo. hunter s. thompson was clearly in the middle of the drug revolution, the sexual revolution, the change in mores. whether that makes him a hero is another question. i like people who push the boundaries and "break on through to the other side." he ran for sheriff in a county in colorado. he lost. God bless his soul, he had a full life. i for one, however, did not enjoy the idea of giving notoriety and fame to biker gangs who used group rape as a common practice. the idea, as well, of glamorizing drug use is questionable to me, as long as these drugs are illegal. i enjoyed the film fear and loathing in las vegas. there is a freedom in doing whatever you want. but whether that freedom has good or evil consequences is the question, and i also wonder, from a Christian point of view, about the destination of the soul of hunter s. thompson. he was essentially interested in politics of america, yet he seemed to operate from the assumption of a position of not being powerful except through words. still, the role he played in getting president carter elected is appreciated by me, as a Democrat.

fargo

what can i say about the film fargo? well, i've seen it a number of times now. every once in a while i get the urge to see the film again. and there are always parts of the film that i've forgotten. being from fargo/moorhead, i have a special appreciation for the film, for the accents, etc. someone once told me that if you see it as a mystery, it is a mystery. a police investigation. a series of crimes. criminals needing to be caught. but on a deeper level, it is a film about the midwest as an island of decency, and how that decency deals with incursions from the outside, more violent and angry world. and so the film builds up to the final speech by marge, who says, "all for a little bit of money." i respect this film because it takes a kind of inner strength, a kind of warrior, to be an investigating cop who is up against violent criminals. but i also respect the warmth and decency of the cop in her private life. i particularly liked the scene with the asian american guy who had a midwestern accent and who met with marge in the restaurant. it's so funny cause it's so true, as one of my friends used to say.

foreign correspondent

i'm working once again on trying to see all of my hitchcock films that i haven't seen before. and that brought me to foreign correspondent, a great film. it is cute and touching in the way films were back in the day, yet it passes as an action film with sequences in various dangerous locales, such as a planewreck at sea. there is a sense of humor all the way through the film. joel mcrea is a great actor, but there is a bit more style and humor than the typical action film of the 80's, which is when i grew up, in the era of die hard and the terminator.

pride and glory

all in all i liked pride and glory. edward norton plays a son of a police chief. norton himself is a cop, as is his brother in law, who is more of a "dirty cop" or a corrupt cop. i have to be careful in using that term, because one time i said i was watching movies about "dirty cops" and someone asked me if that was what i always said when talking about the police. "dirty coppers." but no, it seems the last couple, 2 or 3, movies that i've seen have been about corrupt cops. in general i am a fan of edward norton, and he makes it easy to like his characters, or at least be drawn into the story of which he is a major part. colin farrell is also an interesting character, although he tends to be proud and a bit more working class in his characters. pride goeth before a fall, as the Bible says (paraphrased.) and he is proud in the sense that he thinks he can take money or drugs or whatever and get away with it, while being a police officer. a Story can be said to be about the idea that "character finds its own level" in other words, "character is destiny." people don't get away with something forever. having said all of that, cop movies are wearing their welcome thin for me. they're wearing out their welcome, and maybe because the plots seem to be recycled to some extent. where are the films about hard working private detectives? in the heyday of film noir, you had the humphrey bogart characters, the private detectives. but we have to give cops their due. they work hard, they get beat up, they get knives pulled on them, get shot at, and all in the name of Justice. to serve the public. and God bless 'em.

body of lies

i thought body of lies was an enjoyable action film. it is a film about a CIA operative, a warrior who is fighting the war against terror often hand to hand in the middle east, yet is hamstrung by the policies of his boss, who is often seen going about family duties in the washington d.c. area. the main point of the somewhat inept and deceptive boss image is that of the absurdity of a leader without any moral authority. still, it's a sign that we are in the era of the war on terror, when a movie like this comes out. it's christiandom vs. islam i guess, for some time into the future. but we have some allies in the islamic world. it's not a caliphate, all united, as some of the jihadists would want. it is a battle for the hearts and minds of the average arabs. i believe the radicals that i appreciate are the Quakers, who believe sincerely in a world without violence. i was just reading about such a peace worker who was killed in the middle east. said one young Quaker, there are people who die in war, but how many people are willing to die for peace? after taking in a violent film like body of lies, i need to remember where my conscience is, by reading books about the Quakers, about their founder, George Fox, and some of their great writers about peaceableness.

the shootist

in my quest to see all of the jimmy stewart films, my latest film was the shootist. an amazing film. john wayne is a gunfighter with a big reputation for gunslinging, for killing a lot of men (though as he says, no one who didn't deserve it) who gets cancer and only has so much time to live, and jimmy stewart is a doctor who cares for him in his last days, gives him the bad news, and gives him powerful pain killers to make life bearable. it reminded me a lot of my own father, who died of cancer inside of him, and how much pain he had to endure in his last days. this is a film about life and death. about accepting one's own death and dying one's own way. it has romance in it, love, and ron howard plays the boy who learns some things about life from the old man, from john wayne.

someone once said, on TV, that westerns are a genre that doesn't get enough respect from film lovers. we say, well, it was only a western. instead, we should be treasuring westerns as an american genre that have all the elements of a good story, good guys, bad guys, war, love, in the stark terms of the American West.

once again, in this film, jimmy stewart plays the quintessentially good man, the good doctor, who has trouble telling the truth about how horrible the death of John Wayne will be. he's so good he has trouble breaking the bad news to the gunslinger. yet they have a friendship going back many years, the good doctor, and the shootist. i study jimmy stewart because i believe in every film he has something to say about "what it means to be a man" and "how one should live a good life." and "the attitude one should take toward life, toward giving meaning to life."

brewster mccloud

i love the film brewster mccloud. i love everything about it. i love the sense of humor primarily. and i love the futuristic element. it was made by a man who loves human beings and has questions about, for example, the issue of evolution or where civilization is going in the far future.

i love many elements of this film. the fact that the big time cop has so many turtleneck sweaters, for example. brewster literally wants to fly, but whether he does or not you will have to see the film to find out.

he is a boy/man living in a fallout shelter at an enclosed sports stadium. there are many fantastic elements of this film, not the least of which are the actors and actresses, perfectly cast, and things that stretch the limit of imagination and which you will not find in any other film.

simenon, maigret and the killer

i think i first encountered the books of simenon in the library of my father and mother's house. i didn't think i would ever actually read them. i thought the design of the books was cool. and i think at a certain point i knew that they were mysteries.

i decided to dive into the books of simenon at some point, and now i am a great fan of police detective (chief superintendent) maigret, working about the year 1950 to 1970, in paris, tracking down criminals and bringing them to justice.

the main thing is that maigret as a human being is compassionate, about as compassionate as you can imagine a head police detective being. at one point he says in the fictional book that sometimes people who are put away in prison come back to see him after having served their time behind bars. they are friendly to the man who put them away, because fundamentally they know they deserved time behind bars and they know maigret was only doing his job when he caught them in such a way that they were going to be convicted.

yes, we see all around us police officers and police detectives, in the world of TV and movies. but few are as on target, wise, clever, and compassionate as maigret.

every Story is timeless, outside of time and space

Story is always true.  it's more true than truth, than everyday details of life.  in some sense, world wars 1 and 2 are always going on, the vietnam war is always going on.  as long as someone tells those stories, those Stories are true, more true than true.  read hans christian anderson.  get into the work of the best story tellers.  every Story is a formula.  pay attention to what happens, to the names of characters.  how decisions are made.  and if you don't agree with the basic reality of a Story, don't watch the TV show.  don't watch the movie.  don't read the book.  in a star trek episode, it talks about a man who said, in future history, that "how can i help?" is a more important thing to say than "i love you."  maybe that is why star trek is a universe without money.  in that universe humanity has moved beyond money.  has human nature changed?  maybe not, but maybe moral education of youngsters has progressed to the point that by common agreement what is best for all is what is done. 

body of lies

i enjoyed body of lies.  leonardo dicaprio.  etc.  a cia agent willing to kill, willing to do anything for america.  terrorism.  iraq, and other places in the middle east.  i guess i would prefer, thus far, to communicate about the film using sentence fragments rather than complete sentences (noun plus verb.)  my brother once told me if i keep a notebook, i should always use complete sentences, because i had a bad habit of communicating using only phrases and individual words.  anyway, body of lies is a harrowing film----  terrorists are willing to torture to death, to do anything, to further their agenda and serve their terrorist god, the god of terrorism.  but is the answer more control by those who have money?  is control the answer to the murderous machine of terrorism?  no, we say in america that we have freedom.  we say that the terrorists hate us because of our freedom.  our freedom has led us to wealth.  wealth makes us want to keep our wealth, and this is the control structure that we have.  and meanwhile there are people, for example, who are forcibly drugged or forcibly electroshocked, as in psychiatry.  i am patriotic, as much as anyone else, but i am not in favor of this system of control that apparently exists.  the alternative is money, lawyers, the court system.  have your day in court.  one game replaces the other, in system, a network of societal games.  nietzsche said everything boils down to the will to power.  yes, i am patriotic and i believe in America.  but when people's rights are being violated, don't count on me to keep quiet about it.  a trillion dollars here and there to help the economy, and we can't house the homeless?  and in the homeless shelters, notice that many homeless people are forced to take psychiatric drugs, as if that's anything more than a need for money of the big drug companies and the influence they have and the expanded profitability they want to have, in enslaving the most helpless among us to these horrible drugs.  so i believe in america, but a violent movie of killing for democracy doesn't hold my interest as much as a Quaker book about non-violent ways of living.

the bank job

the bank job is a reasonably entertaining film about british intelligence, a bank heist, salacious photos of a royal, etc.  good film, well worth the money to rent it, primarily because of the portrayal of british working class hopes of a better life, and being willing to do anything to build a better life for one's family.  it's a film about small time hoods who have the chance to pull off a big caper, a big heist.  and there is joy in the film.  and it is humorous.  take it for what it's worth, it's an OK adventure.  jason statham is a good warrior, and there is that side of the film as well, being willing to be a samurai, so to speak.

obsession

obsession:  radical islam's war against the west (or something like that) arrived in front of my front door in the middle of a newspaper.  it was a dvd one hour preview of a longer film.  i procrastinated and postponed watching it and had a bit of scorn for it.  even after seeing it, i have a strange feeling about a movie that is given away free in a newspaper.  why?  is it propaganda?  was it a kind of advertising for a web site and political movement?  is it a request for dollars and attention?  or is it a real documentary?  it is a little of all of these.  it definitely has a point of view that demands attention.  if there are extremists, terrorists, in this war on terror (or terrorists' war on the west) who hate america so much they would blow up north america if they could, then we are engaged in a war over beliefs.  we need to create a world where children don't grow up worshipping a god who demands human sacrifices in the form of suicide bombers.  is this god the same God worshipped by Christians?  yes, there have been crusades.  people have died, people have been tortured in the name of Christianity, in history.  but are we to increase fear, increase war?  would increased fear and increased war bring the war on terror to a successful conclusion?  or are the Quakers correct, in being peace-mongers?  Jesus said "blessed are the peace makers."  world peace begins within.  it starts in the heart.  all of reality starts in the heart.  as above, so below.  as within, so without.  it's possible if you believe it's possible.  world peace.  it's not the result of machinery or analysis.  communicating from the heart is a start.

casablanca

one of my favorite films.  casablanca.  i have a deep interest in any of the films made against the nazis.  i've also seen some of the films depicting the struggle against the japanese during world war 2.  in one film a group of american women are captured by the japanese at the end of a film.  ingrid bergman, in casablanca, is amazing.  humphrey bogart is also great.  in seeing just how evil the nazis were, it is clear that they abandoned their conscience and also their claim even to be human beings, much less "the master race."  in a sense, world war 2 is still going on, as is the cold war.  count me in as one who believes in the human rights of all people.  there's a lot of love, and ultimately forgiveness, in the film casablanca.  at one time in my life i actually believed it would be preferable to take the good looking girl, and fly away to america.  but as i became a bit more morally mature, i realized we are all engaged in political struggles.  it is the politics of everyday life, the politics of what is possible, realpolitik.  when i try to stand up for the rights of people who, for example, are forcibly electroshocked, by psychiatry, i have been influenced by films like casablanca.  

die hard

die hard, the first film, is an amazing film. a classic among action films. bruce willis survives, and opposes the terrorists, and does what he can to kill the terrorists who have taken hostages, and survives again, always out-thinking his opponents.

zero 7, simple things

i recently listened to the entire album, simple things, by zero 7.

amazing music. a little sad, a little slow, but that's all right.

definitely music from the heart, but perhaps not quite as moving as stereolab at their best.

the dark knight

i liked the dark night, upon reflection. but while it was actually happening, when i was actually in the theater, there were a number of moments where "action" was occurring, but it just wasn't "interesting." i like the stories of commissioner gordon, how he got to be where he was, two face, and so on. the joker. and it is made a bit more strange, upon reflection, knowing that heath ledger died after the filming of this movie. it's a hard movie to watch in some ways, but all in all i think i got my money's worth. as to the allegation that it is a "dark" movie, well, it is supposedly violent, but not really over the top. i say supposedly because a movie can portray violence without the feeling of actual violence being involved. so yes as an illusion it is "dark" whatever that means, but only as an illusion. you get used to it fairly quickly and i don't think it's as "dark" as people say it is.

songs from the heart

you think you want to buy more music. but after a certain point, you have most if not all of the music you need for the current time. is this new music that you want to buy---- does it come from the heart? or is it mental games, far from emotion? is it simply a quest for something new in music? and how soon does the "new" become the "old?" my point: think twice before wasting yet more money, but still, you gotta live sometimes. you gotta live a little sometimes. it's OK to spend money sometimes.

normal

i tried to watch a film called normal, a canadian based film, with some good actors and actresses in it, but after a certain period of time i just decided to give it up. all involved tried very hard, but i just could not summon within me the desire to finish watching the film. in the film there was a lot of emotion expressed, a lot of angst and heartache, and anger, and after a time i had had enough.

the beatles white album

i'm getting once again into the genius of the beatles white album. about half the songs i don't listen to very often, but the other half are genius, amazing. i was inspired to go in this direction by garrison keilor today singing "i will" which i found out once again is on the white album. i tend to forget something like that if i ignore an album for a while, but then i get back to what i love. there are certain stereolab albums that i love as much as this album, including the cobra one. the truth is that there is love in these songs by the beatles. sometimes they love their audience enough to tell the truth in the form of an artistic work, though later they backpedal and cover up their tracks and deny whatever they were trying to say in the lyrics and music. on the one hand all interpretation is subjective, on the other hand we have social conventions about how to interpret something. objective vs. purely subjective. but then, how many people are there? if you say 6 billion people, i will hit you three times with a silly stick.

gus van sant's film, paranoid park

even though i didn't realize it when i was watching it, when it was over, i realized i love paranoid park as a film, as a window into these characters. the central issue is: what if you have something to confess to someone else, yet if you confess it to anyone at all, the consequences will be negative? without revealing too much about the plot or the ending of the movie, i will simply say that this is a dream like movie, with a lot of shots of people skateboarding. it reminds me of surfing, images of surfers riding waves. so....... good movie. i would highly recommend this film. it has to do with a murder investigation which brings teenagers into contact with a police detective.

the wrong man

the wrong man is the latest of the hitchcock films that i've watched. i would say that, compared with vertigo or north by northwest, the suspense just isn't there. it is a study in ordinary film making. by that i mean ordinary reality is what is being captured, a story that really could happen. and it did happen. the movie is based on a real story, if hitchcock is to be believed. but it's not hollywood-slick and suspenseful like a typical hitchcock film. even so, i'm glad to have seen it. henry fonda is a good everyman who just was in the wrong place at the wrong time, like so many hitchcock protagonists, and got himself into something (being accused of a series of crimes) he had no idea he was getting into. it is interesting to note, according to several sources i've heard from, that hitchcock himself, as a five year old boy, spent five minutes in jail, as a warning from his father, which may have had a psychological impact eventually leading to this film. hitchcock himself was the original wrong man, spending an eternity of five minutes locked up as a small child. i would say, however, in evaluating this film, the "ordinary" quality of the film makes it one of the less enjoyable of the hitchcock films.

anne murray, coldplay, joan osborne

anne murray---- amazing grace

coldplay---- don't panic

joan osborne---- one of us

these are the songs that i've been listening to a bit lately.

i really appreciate the film garden state. coldplay's song is on that soundtrack.

i have been getting more into coldplay. good stuff. the other two are more religious, and that is good sometimes. faith in Jesus is an ongoing thing, and worship can be in many various ways.

don't panic is probably a reference to the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy and those books. good stuff. i'm going to re-read those soon.

the main problem: ok, earth is a problem. waiting for a solution. do we believe in capitalism? or do we want to create a solution that is beyond capitalism? where every child has shoes, where every hungry stomach is fed? is there a way to do that other than our current system? douglas adams talks a bit about that. most of our problems seem to have to do with money on this planet. but it's not the green pieces of paper that are unhappy.

zero 7

i can't get over how much i love the songs of zero 7, particularly

somersault.

there is something to be said for chilled out music, slowed down tempo music, music for relaxation, not to get all hyped up.

shenandoah

i am still on my quest to see every jimmy stewart movie, and tonight's film was shenandoah.

it's not a bad film. there are moments that make it worthwhile. overall it is a very sweet film, with moments of adventure. it's about a man who's the father of a number of grown children, living on a farm in virginia during the civil war. though he initially doesn't want to take sides in the war, he eventually needs to get involved when his son mistakenly gets taken captive. more than that i will not say, in order not to reveal the plot.

the best moments in the film are when jimmy stewart is just being the lovable, somewhat strict father with a sense of humor, and with a great reverence for the conventions of life. the best moments are when he's speaking to his dead wife at her grave site. also, when he's giving advice on how to deal with a woman, his sincerity and love of women is admirable. jimmy stewart is a man we come to know through his many films, who loves life and loves to follow what is right and good. he is in many ways the essence of a good man.

we mainly see jimmy stewart through either political idealism (mr. smith goes to washington), or hitchcock films, or adventure films set in the 19th century, westerns. i think respect is due where respect has been earned, and jimmy stewart certainly earned deep respect just for being a good man.

a whole story from beginning to end 10/19/2008

the idea of valuing an entire Story from beginning to end

was impressed upon me and spiritually made me aware

that i wasn't really being true to the spirit of the film makers

if i watched just part of a film and believed that that's all i needed to do.

and even now, there are people who do that

they value a Story only insofar as watching parts of it, then flipping the channel.

no, what i have become convinced of is: take the time. take the time to watch the entire film.

if you're reading a book, read the entire book. novel. history. whatever kind of book it is.

and if you don't understand the meaning or intent behind a particular sentence, stay with it

until you do understand clearly the meaning or intent of the sentence.

in terms of life itself, life is a Story. don't treat life as a TV set that you can just flip channels

any time you want.

no, life as a Story is sacred. with all of the ups and downs of a life,

it makes up an entire life. you know the people you know. you have to cultivate those friendships

the way a garden might be cultivated. give your attention, your time, your friendship, and the friendships will blossom and continue to live.

and believe that there is One above, there is a Man Upstairs, who will reward the just.

i always believe in the Biblical saying (to paraphrase the Proverbs) that

the bountiful heart shall be blessed, for he giveth of his bread to the poor.

in other words, if you are bountiful, if you are generous, you will receive it back from the Lord.

so don't give up hoping for the best life. continue to be generous, and eventually God will be generous with you.

and of course, be thankful for the blessings you already have.

when telling a Story, if there is no time limit, tell the whole Story, but only if there is a good point to the Story,

in other words, if the point of the Story is resting in good intentions and goodness in general

----to pay someone to listen to you tell a Story is crazy, to be honest.

that's why i think those who have been deceived by the allure of counseling are mixed up in something crazy----

you cannot buy friendship. it's putting a dollar value on communication. and that's not real friendship. nothing ain't nothing if it ain't free, says janis joplin

i.g.y.

listening to i.g.y. by donald fagen (the song i.g.y., or international geophysical year)

is a thing that brings back a lot of emotions. my older brothers used to listen to this album a lot.

nightfly. each song on it tells a story.

sixpence none the richer

the song, don't dream it's over, sung by sixpence none the richer----

what i like about it (i know it's a cover) but what i like about it is

it tells a story of a somewhat totalitarian society. that's how i interpret the song.

and there is a sense of Christianity too in the song.

the ones who want to "build a wall between us" are the nazis

and the Christians say, let people love anyone they wish. no walls between people.

i love that song. i love the lead singer of sixpence none the richer (i know the band has broken up) but i love the band and the music anyway

because they are (were) a Christian band. and you don't get a lot of that. they really believed what they believed. God bless them, wherever they are now.

all's well that ends well

it is possible to generally follow the plot of a shakespeare play, when listening to it on cassette. you may not get all of the references, however. i listened to the complete play on cassette, all's well that ends well. i understood the basic points of the plot. and i appreciate the story that is told. but at some point in the future i'm going to have to see if the internet has some shakespeare study guides, or purchase them through an online bookstore, so that i can follow all of the uses of language that makes studying shakespeare unique.

sometimes in a comedy, two people exist in relation to each other, having problems or misunderstandings that prevent them from getting together, but by the end of the film or story they're together. a happy ending. a comedy. someone once said a happy story ends with two people getting together, but a tragedy ends in death. weddings and funerals. sex/love and death. i think anyone who wraps their mind around an entire shakespeare play, not to mention all of them, will come away with an expanded view of the human condition, the basic question, what does it mean to be a human being?

strangers on a train

i am still going through all of the films of hitchcock. tonight's viewing was of the film strangers on a train. hitchcock apparently always had one character (the evil, crazy one) who suggested murder as a fascinating, amusing concept in his films, or in a lot of his films. this film is no different. i will not reveal the plot points, or the ending, in case you haven't seen the film yet. as a hitchcock film, it's a little better than average, with a climax to the action of the film that's interesting, compelling, suspenseful.

so why am i researching all of the films of hitchcock? well, i guess as a film student i want to be 100 percent familiar with certain film makers. i sent away for a few of the films of akira kurosawa on dvd. that's another film maker that i want to know all about. "like kurosawa i make mad films. ok i don't make films. but if i did they'd have a samurai." sometime soon i will sit through the 7 samurai once again, though there are parts that i fast forward, i am ashamed to say.

i want to know 100 percent about all the films of hitchcock and also all of the plays of shakespeare. that's a starting point. for further learning. there was a man who was on death row, and a christian pastor went in there to his cell and the guy was there with papers and books and was studying. "i can get you a tv," the pastor said to the prisoner. "no," said the prisoner, "i have to study to become a lawyer." he was studying law books. he didn't care that he maybe had only 6 months in which to live. he was working on self improvement, for the improvement of his soul. i like that story and i remember it sometimes. i am a film student, and that is how i define myself, because i love stories that are told, either in words or in images. i believe God also loves stories. one rabbi said there is both good and evil in life because God loves a good story. all of us have lives that are told as a story.

the color purple

i bought the color purple on dvd in part because my Mom loved that movie.

it's a great film. it's good, heartwarming, and has many memorable moments, but having said that, it's more of a chick flick, but again, having said that, it's a great film.

there are moments of child birth, separation of people who love each other, people treating each other like dirt, friendship that lasts many years, even decades, moments of revenge. many turning points of people's lives. you get to know these people, in good times and bad. the main point is that freedom and liberty and self expression wins out over oppression and shame. the film is a celebration of the human spirit.

88 minutes

88 minutes, starring al pacino, is pretty much what i thought it would be.

that is to say, it was OK. not great. not poor quality. as always, al pacino is al pacino---- he goes a little wild and runs around wildly. he has a psycho killer after him. i won't say more in order to avoid giving away the plot.

but it's not a bad film. i try to see al pacino films when they come out.

the man who shot liberty valance

the man who shot liberty valance is my latest film in my quest to watch all the films of jimmy stewart. it's really not a bad film. there are some great moments in it, as it focuses on the life of a small western town beset by gunslinging villains, and a lawyer who goes west and seeks to restore law and order. it is interesting to have both jimmy stewart and john wayne in the same film, and to reveal more would perhaps reveal too much about the plot, so i will stop there. as i wrote earlier, i have a love of Westerns, because they deal with the basic human condition in stark contrasts, good vs. evil, love, and facing up to your fears. jimmy stewart, as always, is as decent and honorable a man as you are likely to find on film. and i really have nothing bad to say about john wayne. maybe when i am done watching all the films of jimmy stewart, all the films directed by hitchcock, then i may start with other actors and actresses of the golden era of american film.

westerns as a genre of film

there was a time that i didn't like westerns. i guess they just didn't appeal to me in those days when science fiction seemed to be the most exciting.

then i heard some of the great directors and film critics talk about Westerns as a great American genre. that people in general don't value Westerns as they should.

and then i realized that i, too, had not given credit where credit was due. i had not valued Westerns as they should be valued.

so i am going through all of the films of Jimmy Stewart. some of those are Westerns. i need to value Jimmy Stewart as a great american actor, having something to say on the question of "what it means to be a man." and Westerns, too, have something to say about "what it means to be a human being." (a good human being.)

a mighty heart

a mighty heart, starring angelina jolie, is not a bad film. it's kind of shot documentary style, and you get the impression that you are actually there, that it is happening as it is being shot, instead of a typical hollywood movie style. in general, i try to see the films that angelina jolie is in, and the fact that this is a topical film, part of current events (generally speaking) is one more reason that i checked out this movie. having said all of that, and with the knowledge that this is the best film that they could have made given the story, if you know the end of the story, you know the end, how the story turns out before you start watching the film. as such, it is a rather flat film, but still interesting for fans of foreign policy, how other countries like pakistan work, and so on. so for a serious film lover, i would recommend this film, and if you like films about current events (a few years ago anyway) i would recommend this film, but there were basically no major surprises in the film. still, this film expanded my awareness of what pakistan is like, and as such i love the film, i love angelina jolie, and i love the real story of journalists risking their lives for the truth. yes, it is a tragedy, but it is a heroic tragedy, and you have to respect the heroism of those who put their lives on the line to get the story out.

sarah mclachlan

some great music. sarah mclachlan.

i have a grand total now of 2 of her songs. fallen. and i will remember you.

she speaks truth, with sorrow, but also hope. God bless her.

Jesus is the Savior in Story

to understand this concept.......

everyone's life is a Story.

there are Stories in the Bible.

they are true because they are Stories. they are Stories that are interesting because they are true in the telling of them.

they have a main character.

when the main character needs saving, he needs the Savior.

Jesus Christ is the Savior.

therefore in any Story when there is wisdom, there is salvation. Wisdom was with God in the beginning. the Lady Wisdom.

but if there is foolishness in the main character, it leads downward in a downward spiral to death.

unless he is Saved by Jesus, the Savior. Buddha is also a Savior. anyone can be a Savior. and yet there is only one Savior, an Archetype of that which Saves.

gain wisdom any way you can. buy wisdom and do not get rid of it, do not sell it. study the Proberbs of the Old Testament. study the Words of Jesus. have a set of spiritual practices to learn. we are all here to learn.

forrest gump

forrest gump is an all-american movie. it's all about how we've been, how we've lived, since the 60's, even early 50's. it's about a slow person who can run fast, who can start his own business, who can get the girl and get married and be a father and husband, a good father and a good husband.

having said all that, i decided to buy this movie on dvd because i am paying respect where respect is due. it's a film about vietnam, about the anti-war protests, about all of these things. and i hope to watch this film every so often. yes, maybe we are destined to live the lives we lead. maybe it's chance. maybe we make our own destiny. maybe all of these are true.

bury my heart at wounded knee

bury my heart at wounded knee is an amazing book from the perspective of american indians, a history of the west, the crimes against indians. of course it was a war, a war over land, and there were many casualties on both sides. and there is injustice still, in the poverty of the american indians and their ongoing suffering, living on reservations, living in poverty. but there is hope. we can hope that tomorrow will be a better day, hope that american indians can learn skills to earn a good income, that their children can go to school and make something of their lives. in terms of charities i like red cloud indian school.

http://www.redcloudschool.org/

dial m for murder

i am trying to go through all the hitchcock films i can, watching them, commenting on them on my web site, and trying to understand "what it's all about" (or what hitchcock is really trying to say.)

usually it's a film about someone trying to get away with something. in this film, dial m for murder, it's a husband who wants to get his wife killed. enough said about the plot. i don't want to ruin it for those who have not yet seen it.

but it's a treat to see grace kelly. and to watch a documentary about the making of the film after. i can see why hitchcock liked women like her. in fact in vertigo it seems that hitchcock has a fetish over certain colors, a certain kind of style for his women. i love the hitchcock films.

but i can see why an ardent feminist would put down these films. i am not as much of an equality promoter that i would like men and women to seem the same. viva la difference. God bless those blonde women with thin waists who can find employment by directors like hitchcock. of course, as a Christian i have to say that i believe that all people are born equal. we all have equal rights as citizens of america. that's how it ought to be. as a Christian, as someone who believes in democracy, i have to say no one is inherently superior to anyone else.

many hitchcock films seem to center on someone who's trying to get away with "a perfect murder" but they have another think coming when someone foils their purposes.

vertigo remains my favorite hitchcock film, but i will update this site as i watch more of them.

napoleon hill's individual statement of purpose

one of the best things i got from studying napoleon hill

was this idea of having a statement of purpose, an individual statement

for who you want to be, the qualities you wish to possess, what you wish to accomplish

in your life----

it doesn't have to be just about money.

so i read this statement to myself, the one that i made myself.

i don't say it out loud necessarily, i speak in a low tone of voice

almost whispering

because where i live, the walls are thin

and the window is open, etc.

but i do say my purpose. and it is like a constitution for a country.

if you want to be a better person, determine what qualities you want to have,

what you wish to accomplish, etc. in your life.

and make a statement of individual purpose.

i bless the rains in africa

i bless the rains in africa

(paraphrased lyrics from 1983 song)

i think the world needs to do more for africa.

otherwise people are drinking polluted water, dying of easily bypassed diseases

people are starving.

so we as a world need to do more for africa

and God bless African Americans as well.

the air i breathe

the air i breathe, with forest whitaker, brendan fraser, kevin bacon, sarah michelle gellar, is an amazing film in its own way.

it's not a big budget film, but by that measure, neither is it a small budget film.

it's about a small time mafia guy who can foresee the future. it is about his boss, who thinks hitching his wagon to a popular singer will catapult him into the big time, in terms of money. and this film has 2 or 3 stories that interweave. it's a great film.

it's great because the characters seem real. they are three dimensional characters. they have problems, demons, of their own. and the good guy doesn't always win the day. so it's more realistic than most movies in that way. but it is a hopeful film, and a deeply humanistic film, as it deals with issues such as freedom and slavery, exploitation, love, and deep friendship.

from "what can i take?" to "what can i give?"

i remember at a funeral, after the funeral, a relative came up to me. she was young, relatively speaking, and i remember talking to her for some time. finally she smiled and got up to go. i saw that she smiled at another person.

it was then that i realized what a jerk i had been. i had been talking about myself and my own "realizations" in life. i had been talking about my future, my present, my past, and so on.

i had not asked her much about her life. about her job. about her family.

and so i realized that i was still on "receive." like a small child, i was still asking the world for everything, and giving nothing in return but more requests for attention.

if i had that encounter to do over, i would have asked her about her family. about her job. about what she thought about god and death and life and all of that.

but no. it was too late for that one time. that time had passed. and i had been "on receive" without thinking at all about "giving."

that is the mark of maturity. a mature person gives. an immature person thinks only of taking. and a criminal mind is one that takes, at the price of destruction of the other and at the cost of his own soul, perhaps. a truly creative person, on the other hand, creates love and creates things and creates giving-ness, not receiving-ness.

live to give. give attention. ask questions of the other person. it's not all about oneself and one's own life. go closer to the heart, as rush says in its song. not closer to the head and to ego. when talking to another person, always ask oneself, what can i give?

the kite runner

the kite runner is a film about two boys in afganistan. the story starts when they are just boys, and then continues after one of them has ended up with his father in america. will he undergo a dangerous mission to go back to the taliban-led afganistan to rescue the son of his friend? (you will find no spoilers in this article. but watch the film. it's worth it.)

i especially liked the character of the Father of the main character. his actions speak loudly on "what it means to be a man." (as led zeppelin says in a song.) they speak loudly on the topic of honor, what it means to be an honorable man.

he stands up and defies a russian soldier who was about to rape a woman. he is willing to lose his life, because that is what his honor compels him to do. he says, "i would rather be shot a thousand times than to have this travesty happen. have you no honor?" (paraphrased.)

his excellency

i'm reading his excellency, a biography focusing on the character of George Washington. i'm not even halfway through the book, but i decided to remark on it a bit. first of all, i think it is important to give oneself permission to study history. in high school, even in some college classes, you have to read because there is no alternative. and so it's a big step in the years after college to give oneself permission to study literature and history on one's own. you are a perpetual student. you have permission from God himself to read any and all books, nor are you too stupid for any particular mission. if you wanted to, you could learn 100 different languages. you have the intelligence.

so, the interesting thing about a biography of Washington is that each biographer has his or her own ax to grind. this particular book seems to want to poke holes in the mythology that surrounds the life of the Father of our Nation. still, i am glad i bought this book, and i hope i will continue studying the lives of leaders.

i like also the fact that so little is known of certain details of a life from centuries ago, for example, the influence of his Father and Mother on him in his early years. what is known can be recorded and passed down in the form of histories, but a lot is not known about Washington. but he never gave up. he wasn't going to give up until his nation was independent of Great Britain.

all's well that ends well

at some point, i don't remember exactly when, i started to think of myself as a potential shakespeare scholar. i decided definitely that i wanted to know everything there is to know about each of shakespeare's plays. i began by ordering a copy of hamlet, the most famous version from the 50's i think with olivier. i began seeing different versions of each play, as much as i could get my hands on. i began to love the language of shakespeare, the poetry and love in it.

now i am studying all's well that ends well. a good play so far.

and there are, of course, study guides available on the internet.

one time i found a web page of free shakespeare plays done by the bbc. free video of these plays. and since then whenever i looked for this page, i haven't been able to find it. of course, it was illegal, and i don't blame whoever it was for taking the page down.

the poverty of the poor is their destruction. that's what the bible says. the book of proverbs. likewise, the rich are sometimes more eloquent and able to communicate on that level than the poor are. Jesus said the poor shall always be with you. so, read books. read plays. study plays. study literature. it will pay dividends and continue to pay dividends until the day you die. when you come across a word you don't understand, look it up. understand the full definition. so have a good dictionary by your side when you tackle something like jane eyre.

i have to admit i understand the basics of a plot of a shakespeare play, but a lot of the language goes over my head. so i need a study aid on that particular play. a study guide. to translate the phrases and jokes.

in those days, a king was a king. a fool was a fool. a king had a king's authority. yet the authority of a fool, or a knave, was that he told the truth, and didn't care if it meant he was going to die in the next minute. he told the truth no matter what.

saying the right thing at the right time, doing the right thing at the right time

one time i asked my brother what was the meaning of life. my brother told me, it's kind of like in those little booklets you buy if you're going to visit a foreign land where they speak another language. you know, like little phrases like where is the bathroom? i would like to eat breakfast now. etc.

and that's what life is. you say these little phrases. they get you through life. you say the right thing at the right time, and you do the right thing at the right time.

at the time my brother said this, i didn't know what i thought of it. i didn't know if i thought it was a superficial philosophy. now, however, i know it is a very deep philosophy.

also, my brother said he wanted to be the Buddha. so when he was conversing with me, he wanted there to be no "me" left. no "selfishness" left. no "ego" left. just the conversation.

so when i would write letters to him and when he would get my letter, i would call him sometimes and say a letter was in the mail. "oh good," he would say. "i like to get your letters." later i realized that he was simply saying the right thing at the right time. yet it was the morally right thing to do.

there are people in this world who claim that the correct policy is always to tell the truth. certainly there is a time and a place to "tell the absolute truth." there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother. and a time to unburden your heart. but usually, the appropriate thing to say is the appropriate thing to say. the loving thing to say is the correct thing to say.

"a word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a frame of silver" --Proverbs

likewise, there is a kind of situation that can arise where if you follow "the policy of truth" (as depeche mode says) you will go from bad situation to worse situation. so tell the truth, but tell it slant, as emily dickenson says.

blade 1 or 2

i was watching blade. blade 1 or 2. was there a blade 2? i think there was. parker posey was in it. i appreciate her acting. i appreciate her. and she deserves every penny she gets. for a while there she wasn't making enough money even to pay for her expenses, in acting. she makes a good vampire. vampires in general should be able to leer a bit when they grin and grimace as well a bit. i guess it is all a part of being in a vampire film. one of the first times i noticed parker posey was when she was in dazed and confused, squirting ketchup and mustard over people and shouting, "air raid!!" it was then that i knew she was a wild one.

circle and line

a line is basically something that goes on for infinity in one direction, and also in the opposite direction.

so a line represents, for example, something that adults do. for example, seeing a doctor, the doctor keeps information in a computer file. if you move somewhere else, and the new doctor requests the file, it goes along at the speed of electricity, perhaps at the speed of light.

now a society like east germany before the fall of the berlin wall was a society with a lot of lines. the authorities wire tapped a lot of people. people were betraying each other, torturing each other in the name of the state.

a circle, on the other hand, represents something fully human.

a circle is like a coin made of metal that has inherent worth. gold. silver. a Story is a circle because to be a true Story, it has to be complete unto itself. it happened in the past. and now you can put it into your own words.

i used to stick up my nose at western movies. now i love them. why? in those days, in the days of the old west, good guys were good guys. bad guys were bad guys. money was gold and silver. there were indians living off the land. a warrior was known by his courage and his resourcefulness and how well he used his gun.

now i love those movies. broken arrow is as good a western as i have ever seen. it stars james stewart.

he has enough courage and wisdom to go deep into the heart of apache territory to their city to propose peace between the whites and the indians, risking his own life.

so my point is: whenever you are talking with someone that you are not related to, someone you have not been friends with before, you are opening up a point of contact. you can tell stories. you can make a new friend. you can propose a time to meet another time. for a meal. for coffee. for whatever you want. james taylor has some amazing wisdom in his music. he says it's true what they say about the squeaky wheel always getting the grease. if you want love, make it. that's what one song says. john mayer. (paraphrased)

my point: you can't change your past. but you can change your present. use the traction that you have in the present to create exactly what you want in life. traction in the soles of your shoes means that you yourself decide which way you want to go. you can tell the truth. or you can lie. you can hire a lawyer. you can make millions of dollars. or you can become homeless. any way you go, it's an adventure, and it later becomes a Story, as you can retell it in your own words.

and that is what i am saying about talking to new people. new contacts. new faces. you can tell stories any way you want to. there is also a need for tall tales. for people who stretch the truth in pursuit of a good story with a good ending and sometimes a good moral to the story. a smile goes a long way.

Wasted

Wasted is a film about a bunch of friends that meet back in their hometown only 1 or 2 years after they left high school. The reason they come back home is that one of their close friends died. It is a great film, wrenching in its own way, about deep truths of life and people having the courage to speak the deepest truth to each other, though it hurts or though it may be denied. It is a film about relationships. It is a film about young people, and so it has some of the favorite elements of a youth film: a bit of a road trip, legends, urban legends, about the death of other young people and spooky woods, and so on. The characters are well portrayed, each with their own problems. Overall this is a great young adult type of film. One of the characters is self-destructive, gets into brawls, is addicted to drugs, and so on. The hard truth of the film is that some people get the chance to go to college, make something of their lives, and some people are left behind to be stuck in whatever problems the are stuck in. It is a film that makes you think about mortality, while also thinking about what it means to have joy in life.

Sleepwalking

Sleepwalking, a 2008 film with Dennis Hopper playing the villain later on in the film, is a good little film. I say "little" because I don't think the budget was big. Still, it portrays the life of ordinary people, and that is amazing when it is done well. Charlize Theron plays a Mother who essentially abandons her daughter, who then is taken care of by her uncle, a young man of limited financial means.

What I like about this film is that, despite the limits imposed by having little money, the characters do have choices to make, and they do make their choices as well as they can. These are ordinary people in what seems to be a small town. Having visited these characters in this film once, I am tempted now to revisit the film someday. It is a film that grows on you, the more you think about it. Woody Harrelson, a co-worker of the uncle, grins his grin and talks about wanting to find some marijuana.

Chuck

here is a Story from my past. though some of these stories on my web site will not be based on films or art work, they are Stories nonetheless and deserve a place on this web site.

i knew a guy named Chuck when i was living in madison, wisconsin. i think you could definitely go so far as to say we had a number of conversations. was he a friend? i think so. he was a house mate. there were about 15 people in this old wooden house, all living there with somewhat crowded conditions and only 2 bathrooms.

one thing that struck me about Chuck was that he had no one to rely on. he had only sporadic contact in his life with his father. and there were members of his family who had problems with madness. they went off on a greyhound sometimes, and now he had completely lost track of them, and did not expect to ever see them again.

but Chuck as a man was definitely self-sustaining. he had some sort of job and was going to the tech. he hoped to get a job as a lab technician, if i am not mistaken. for a while he had worked at taco bell. one day he said that he had once had a realization that "it's all taco bell. this entire world."

so when we talked, he mentioned that he loved the work of Heinlein. i said a long time ago i had read Heinlein. but later, i realized Chuck had had a great impact on me. here was a grown man who loved to collect these science fiction books. so i started buying the novels of Heinlein. i do owe Chuck something because of that. and the philosophy of Heinlein is basically, tell the truth, no matter what, survive, no matter what, and it's OK. it cuts through all the bullshit that is part of modern life. i truly admire the philosophy of Heinlein, although the idea that only certain select adults would have voting rights, well, i don't agree with that.

but the stuff that Heinlein says about knowing how to help a woman give birth to a child, how to survive in the wilderness, etc. is all good. i love the work of heinlein.

Chuck also collected historical books. one of his interests was world war 2. Chuck was the first person to tell me that perhaps when the Germans put Hitler in power, they were primarily concerned about stopping communism, not in his anti-semitism. i still don't know if i agree with this, but it's an interesting idea.

so Chuck was an inspiration to me. he collected books on history. he studied things that he didn't technically have to study. he was a perpetual student. and he valued the books that he did have. he had catalogs of historical books to decide what to study, what books to order.

now i try to study history as well. not long ago i read a biography of Cortez.

it is a good thing to value books. some real life stories are more unbelievable than fiction.

finally, i would like to mention Chuck's religious side. he truly believed that the anti-christ could come to power during his lifetime. he said, you know, if you take the mark of the beast, you cannot go to heaven.

so he challenged me to be a good Christian.

one more thing. he was a conservative in his own way. he was an independent thinker. and he challenged me to challenge my own old beliefs, to discard what was no longer true of me, and to become more of an independent thinker myself. that's about the time i let go of always having the liberal position no matter what.

now, on some issues, i am a conservative, on some issues, a liberal, and on some issues, in the middle.

one time he challenged me on the issue of abortion. he said to me, you know that abortion is murder. right? and i had to admit, yes. later i talked about the subject of abortion with another friend here where i live now, and my friend said, well, it's a tragedy no matter how you look at it. i've taken a step back and reserved judgment for now. yes, it is a tragedy.

so now i have lost contact with my friend Chuck. but i still have these Stories to tell, and i owe him something for having been a leader in my life, and leading me to appreciate that which is of value.

I used to skip around the TV stations

1. A whole Story from beginning to end

I used to be able to watch TV for a little while, then do something else, and come back in maybe 45 minutes, check on some TV programs, and go away again. Then I had a realization. It is better to "watch an entire movie from beginning to end." Rather than to watch a little here, a little there. But I do know people who watch a little here, a little there, and they think they are being true to the ideal of not wasting any time. The truth, as I see it, though, is if a Story is worthy of your attention, then give it your full attention. From beginning to end.

2. When I have Stories to tell, like coins of inherent value

I do have Stories to tell about my past. Some of the Stories could be in different contexts depending on who is telling the Story, me or my older brother, for example. There are people apparently who think pain is the worst thing in life, so if someone has to go through something painful, they are very pained themselves and regret that it had to happen. But as for me, I don't care about pain, for the most part. What do I care about, you might ask? I care about making decisions my own way, about my own independence and freedom, about my own ability to interpret my own past the way I want to.

To have a Story about one's own past is like having a coin of inherent value. It's worth something, based on simply what it is made out of. And each time you tell the Story you can tell it a little differently depending on how you feel that day. And who can stop you from embellishing it a bit, if you want to?

3. Sometimes, seek out adventure

Sometimes, allow yourself to go somewhere where you feel a link to your heart, to your soul. God's not going to allow you to die before your time, unless you are just a Fool and act foolishly. Seek out adventure. Travel. Before the cost of travelling becomes too great.

4. A song well sung and well created is like a Story well told

Collect songs, movies, or whatever touches your heart. It is like a Story well told. And if you are, in addition, blessed by being a Story-Teller, then you have responsibilities as well. To tell Stories as well as you can.

Trade

Trade, with Kevin Kline, is a film about the international human trafficking/sex trade.

I liked the film, but I can't say much about it because it is to some extent unremarkable, except to say that Kevin Kline is good as a cop whose child disappeared a long time ago. So he helps the brother of a Mexican girl who was kidnapped by this ring of traffickers.

All the performances are good. And it is a film that needed to be made, because we should raise awareness of this horrific abuse and enslavement.

The Eye

The Eye (with Jessica Alba in it and Parker Posey) is an interesting film. It's based on a Chinese language film. Jessica Alba has an eye implant, a cornea implant, and then starts seeing visions, hallucinations, disturbing images. Could it be that she's seeing images that the donor of the eyes saw? It's an interesting premise, and it's not just horror for the sake of horror. There is some genuine warmth in the Story, some genuine virtue, some positive amid the horrific images.

When I rented The Eye I didn't know that Parker Posey was in it. I love that actress, and she deserves every cent she earns, whether she's on a lower budget film or gets the big role in a high budget film.

Jessica Alba reminds me more of a sweet girl from high school. She plays well the role of a victim of horrific hallucinations. I can say that I have goodwill toward Jessica Alba, but for some reason Parker Posey makes me laugh (and smile on the inside) a bit more.

What is a Story?

I remember seeing a film about a man. I think it was Peter O'Toole. He had become kind of a sailor, and he was sailing around the Indian Ocean. He was ill. Maybe it was some kind of illness, alcoholism, or whatever. The point was that he got into all kinds of adventures on board ships. And sometimes it wasn't clear that he was going to survive. That's why we turn to films. Films tell a Story. Otherwise we are stuck in ordinary reality. What is always exciting is "What is going to happen next?" Story is all around us. Story is when you strike up a conversation with a stranger and later on she turns out to be your girlfriend, then your wife, then the Mother of your children. Story is when you honor your Father who died in whatever small way you can. We are surrounded by Story, and we are within Story, and Story makes us who we are. If civilization were to break down, if all the machines were to break down, we would still gather around the campfire and tell Stories.