i bless the rains in africa

i bless the rains in africa

(paraphrased lyrics from 1983 song)

i think the world needs to do more for africa.

otherwise people are drinking polluted water, dying of easily bypassed diseases

people are starving.

so we as a world need to do more for africa

and God bless African Americans as well.

the air i breathe

the air i breathe, with forest whitaker, brendan fraser, kevin bacon, sarah michelle gellar, is an amazing film in its own way.

it's not a big budget film, but by that measure, neither is it a small budget film.

it's about a small time mafia guy who can foresee the future. it is about his boss, who thinks hitching his wagon to a popular singer will catapult him into the big time, in terms of money. and this film has 2 or 3 stories that interweave. it's a great film.

it's great because the characters seem real. they are three dimensional characters. they have problems, demons, of their own. and the good guy doesn't always win the day. so it's more realistic than most movies in that way. but it is a hopeful film, and a deeply humanistic film, as it deals with issues such as freedom and slavery, exploitation, love, and deep friendship.

from "what can i take?" to "what can i give?"

i remember at a funeral, after the funeral, a relative came up to me. she was young, relatively speaking, and i remember talking to her for some time. finally she smiled and got up to go. i saw that she smiled at another person.

it was then that i realized what a jerk i had been. i had been talking about myself and my own "realizations" in life. i had been talking about my future, my present, my past, and so on.

i had not asked her much about her life. about her job. about her family.

and so i realized that i was still on "receive." like a small child, i was still asking the world for everything, and giving nothing in return but more requests for attention.

if i had that encounter to do over, i would have asked her about her family. about her job. about what she thought about god and death and life and all of that.

but no. it was too late for that one time. that time had passed. and i had been "on receive" without thinking at all about "giving."

that is the mark of maturity. a mature person gives. an immature person thinks only of taking. and a criminal mind is one that takes, at the price of destruction of the other and at the cost of his own soul, perhaps. a truly creative person, on the other hand, creates love and creates things and creates giving-ness, not receiving-ness.

live to give. give attention. ask questions of the other person. it's not all about oneself and one's own life. go closer to the heart, as rush says in its song. not closer to the head and to ego. when talking to another person, always ask oneself, what can i give?

the kite runner

the kite runner is a film about two boys in afganistan. the story starts when they are just boys, and then continues after one of them has ended up with his father in america. will he undergo a dangerous mission to go back to the taliban-led afganistan to rescue the son of his friend? (you will find no spoilers in this article. but watch the film. it's worth it.)

i especially liked the character of the Father of the main character. his actions speak loudly on "what it means to be a man." (as led zeppelin says in a song.) they speak loudly on the topic of honor, what it means to be an honorable man.

he stands up and defies a russian soldier who was about to rape a woman. he is willing to lose his life, because that is what his honor compels him to do. he says, "i would rather be shot a thousand times than to have this travesty happen. have you no honor?" (paraphrased.)

his excellency

i'm reading his excellency, a biography focusing on the character of George Washington. i'm not even halfway through the book, but i decided to remark on it a bit. first of all, i think it is important to give oneself permission to study history. in high school, even in some college classes, you have to read because there is no alternative. and so it's a big step in the years after college to give oneself permission to study literature and history on one's own. you are a perpetual student. you have permission from God himself to read any and all books, nor are you too stupid for any particular mission. if you wanted to, you could learn 100 different languages. you have the intelligence.

so, the interesting thing about a biography of Washington is that each biographer has his or her own ax to grind. this particular book seems to want to poke holes in the mythology that surrounds the life of the Father of our Nation. still, i am glad i bought this book, and i hope i will continue studying the lives of leaders.

i like also the fact that so little is known of certain details of a life from centuries ago, for example, the influence of his Father and Mother on him in his early years. what is known can be recorded and passed down in the form of histories, but a lot is not known about Washington. but he never gave up. he wasn't going to give up until his nation was independent of Great Britain.

all's well that ends well

at some point, i don't remember exactly when, i started to think of myself as a potential shakespeare scholar. i decided definitely that i wanted to know everything there is to know about each of shakespeare's plays. i began by ordering a copy of hamlet, the most famous version from the 50's i think with olivier. i began seeing different versions of each play, as much as i could get my hands on. i began to love the language of shakespeare, the poetry and love in it.

now i am studying all's well that ends well. a good play so far.

and there are, of course, study guides available on the internet.

one time i found a web page of free shakespeare plays done by the bbc. free video of these plays. and since then whenever i looked for this page, i haven't been able to find it. of course, it was illegal, and i don't blame whoever it was for taking the page down.

the poverty of the poor is their destruction. that's what the bible says. the book of proverbs. likewise, the rich are sometimes more eloquent and able to communicate on that level than the poor are. Jesus said the poor shall always be with you. so, read books. read plays. study plays. study literature. it will pay dividends and continue to pay dividends until the day you die. when you come across a word you don't understand, look it up. understand the full definition. so have a good dictionary by your side when you tackle something like jane eyre.

i have to admit i understand the basics of a plot of a shakespeare play, but a lot of the language goes over my head. so i need a study aid on that particular play. a study guide. to translate the phrases and jokes.

in those days, a king was a king. a fool was a fool. a king had a king's authority. yet the authority of a fool, or a knave, was that he told the truth, and didn't care if it meant he was going to die in the next minute. he told the truth no matter what.

saying the right thing at the right time, doing the right thing at the right time

one time i asked my brother what was the meaning of life. my brother told me, it's kind of like in those little booklets you buy if you're going to visit a foreign land where they speak another language. you know, like little phrases like where is the bathroom? i would like to eat breakfast now. etc.

and that's what life is. you say these little phrases. they get you through life. you say the right thing at the right time, and you do the right thing at the right time.

at the time my brother said this, i didn't know what i thought of it. i didn't know if i thought it was a superficial philosophy. now, however, i know it is a very deep philosophy.

also, my brother said he wanted to be the Buddha. so when he was conversing with me, he wanted there to be no "me" left. no "selfishness" left. no "ego" left. just the conversation.

so when i would write letters to him and when he would get my letter, i would call him sometimes and say a letter was in the mail. "oh good," he would say. "i like to get your letters." later i realized that he was simply saying the right thing at the right time. yet it was the morally right thing to do.

there are people in this world who claim that the correct policy is always to tell the truth. certainly there is a time and a place to "tell the absolute truth." there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother. and a time to unburden your heart. but usually, the appropriate thing to say is the appropriate thing to say. the loving thing to say is the correct thing to say.

"a word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a frame of silver" --Proverbs

likewise, there is a kind of situation that can arise where if you follow "the policy of truth" (as depeche mode says) you will go from bad situation to worse situation. so tell the truth, but tell it slant, as emily dickenson says.

blade 1 or 2

i was watching blade. blade 1 or 2. was there a blade 2? i think there was. parker posey was in it. i appreciate her acting. i appreciate her. and she deserves every penny she gets. for a while there she wasn't making enough money even to pay for her expenses, in acting. she makes a good vampire. vampires in general should be able to leer a bit when they grin and grimace as well a bit. i guess it is all a part of being in a vampire film. one of the first times i noticed parker posey was when she was in dazed and confused, squirting ketchup and mustard over people and shouting, "air raid!!" it was then that i knew she was a wild one.

circle and line

a line is basically something that goes on for infinity in one direction, and also in the opposite direction.

so a line represents, for example, something that adults do. for example, seeing a doctor, the doctor keeps information in a computer file. if you move somewhere else, and the new doctor requests the file, it goes along at the speed of electricity, perhaps at the speed of light.

now a society like east germany before the fall of the berlin wall was a society with a lot of lines. the authorities wire tapped a lot of people. people were betraying each other, torturing each other in the name of the state.

a circle, on the other hand, represents something fully human.

a circle is like a coin made of metal that has inherent worth. gold. silver. a Story is a circle because to be a true Story, it has to be complete unto itself. it happened in the past. and now you can put it into your own words.

i used to stick up my nose at western movies. now i love them. why? in those days, in the days of the old west, good guys were good guys. bad guys were bad guys. money was gold and silver. there were indians living off the land. a warrior was known by his courage and his resourcefulness and how well he used his gun.

now i love those movies. broken arrow is as good a western as i have ever seen. it stars james stewart.

he has enough courage and wisdom to go deep into the heart of apache territory to their city to propose peace between the whites and the indians, risking his own life.

so my point is: whenever you are talking with someone that you are not related to, someone you have not been friends with before, you are opening up a point of contact. you can tell stories. you can make a new friend. you can propose a time to meet another time. for a meal. for coffee. for whatever you want. james taylor has some amazing wisdom in his music. he says it's true what they say about the squeaky wheel always getting the grease. if you want love, make it. that's what one song says. john mayer. (paraphrased)

my point: you can't change your past. but you can change your present. use the traction that you have in the present to create exactly what you want in life. traction in the soles of your shoes means that you yourself decide which way you want to go. you can tell the truth. or you can lie. you can hire a lawyer. you can make millions of dollars. or you can become homeless. any way you go, it's an adventure, and it later becomes a Story, as you can retell it in your own words.

and that is what i am saying about talking to new people. new contacts. new faces. you can tell stories any way you want to. there is also a need for tall tales. for people who stretch the truth in pursuit of a good story with a good ending and sometimes a good moral to the story. a smile goes a long way.

Wasted

Wasted is a film about a bunch of friends that meet back in their hometown only 1 or 2 years after they left high school. The reason they come back home is that one of their close friends died. It is a great film, wrenching in its own way, about deep truths of life and people having the courage to speak the deepest truth to each other, though it hurts or though it may be denied. It is a film about relationships. It is a film about young people, and so it has some of the favorite elements of a youth film: a bit of a road trip, legends, urban legends, about the death of other young people and spooky woods, and so on. The characters are well portrayed, each with their own problems. Overall this is a great young adult type of film. One of the characters is self-destructive, gets into brawls, is addicted to drugs, and so on. The hard truth of the film is that some people get the chance to go to college, make something of their lives, and some people are left behind to be stuck in whatever problems the are stuck in. It is a film that makes you think about mortality, while also thinking about what it means to have joy in life.

Sleepwalking

Sleepwalking, a 2008 film with Dennis Hopper playing the villain later on in the film, is a good little film. I say "little" because I don't think the budget was big. Still, it portrays the life of ordinary people, and that is amazing when it is done well. Charlize Theron plays a Mother who essentially abandons her daughter, who then is taken care of by her uncle, a young man of limited financial means.

What I like about this film is that, despite the limits imposed by having little money, the characters do have choices to make, and they do make their choices as well as they can. These are ordinary people in what seems to be a small town. Having visited these characters in this film once, I am tempted now to revisit the film someday. It is a film that grows on you, the more you think about it. Woody Harrelson, a co-worker of the uncle, grins his grin and talks about wanting to find some marijuana.

Chuck

here is a Story from my past. though some of these stories on my web site will not be based on films or art work, they are Stories nonetheless and deserve a place on this web site.

i knew a guy named Chuck when i was living in madison, wisconsin. i think you could definitely go so far as to say we had a number of conversations. was he a friend? i think so. he was a house mate. there were about 15 people in this old wooden house, all living there with somewhat crowded conditions and only 2 bathrooms.

one thing that struck me about Chuck was that he had no one to rely on. he had only sporadic contact in his life with his father. and there were members of his family who had problems with madness. they went off on a greyhound sometimes, and now he had completely lost track of them, and did not expect to ever see them again.

but Chuck as a man was definitely self-sustaining. he had some sort of job and was going to the tech. he hoped to get a job as a lab technician, if i am not mistaken. for a while he had worked at taco bell. one day he said that he had once had a realization that "it's all taco bell. this entire world."

so when we talked, he mentioned that he loved the work of Heinlein. i said a long time ago i had read Heinlein. but later, i realized Chuck had had a great impact on me. here was a grown man who loved to collect these science fiction books. so i started buying the novels of Heinlein. i do owe Chuck something because of that. and the philosophy of Heinlein is basically, tell the truth, no matter what, survive, no matter what, and it's OK. it cuts through all the bullshit that is part of modern life. i truly admire the philosophy of Heinlein, although the idea that only certain select adults would have voting rights, well, i don't agree with that.

but the stuff that Heinlein says about knowing how to help a woman give birth to a child, how to survive in the wilderness, etc. is all good. i love the work of heinlein.

Chuck also collected historical books. one of his interests was world war 2. Chuck was the first person to tell me that perhaps when the Germans put Hitler in power, they were primarily concerned about stopping communism, not in his anti-semitism. i still don't know if i agree with this, but it's an interesting idea.

so Chuck was an inspiration to me. he collected books on history. he studied things that he didn't technically have to study. he was a perpetual student. and he valued the books that he did have. he had catalogs of historical books to decide what to study, what books to order.

now i try to study history as well. not long ago i read a biography of Cortez.

it is a good thing to value books. some real life stories are more unbelievable than fiction.

finally, i would like to mention Chuck's religious side. he truly believed that the anti-christ could come to power during his lifetime. he said, you know, if you take the mark of the beast, you cannot go to heaven.

so he challenged me to be a good Christian.

one more thing. he was a conservative in his own way. he was an independent thinker. and he challenged me to challenge my own old beliefs, to discard what was no longer true of me, and to become more of an independent thinker myself. that's about the time i let go of always having the liberal position no matter what.

now, on some issues, i am a conservative, on some issues, a liberal, and on some issues, in the middle.

one time he challenged me on the issue of abortion. he said to me, you know that abortion is murder. right? and i had to admit, yes. later i talked about the subject of abortion with another friend here where i live now, and my friend said, well, it's a tragedy no matter how you look at it. i've taken a step back and reserved judgment for now. yes, it is a tragedy.

so now i have lost contact with my friend Chuck. but i still have these Stories to tell, and i owe him something for having been a leader in my life, and leading me to appreciate that which is of value.

I used to skip around the TV stations

1. A whole Story from beginning to end

I used to be able to watch TV for a little while, then do something else, and come back in maybe 45 minutes, check on some TV programs, and go away again. Then I had a realization. It is better to "watch an entire movie from beginning to end." Rather than to watch a little here, a little there. But I do know people who watch a little here, a little there, and they think they are being true to the ideal of not wasting any time. The truth, as I see it, though, is if a Story is worthy of your attention, then give it your full attention. From beginning to end.

2. When I have Stories to tell, like coins of inherent value

I do have Stories to tell about my past. Some of the Stories could be in different contexts depending on who is telling the Story, me or my older brother, for example. There are people apparently who think pain is the worst thing in life, so if someone has to go through something painful, they are very pained themselves and regret that it had to happen. But as for me, I don't care about pain, for the most part. What do I care about, you might ask? I care about making decisions my own way, about my own independence and freedom, about my own ability to interpret my own past the way I want to.

To have a Story about one's own past is like having a coin of inherent value. It's worth something, based on simply what it is made out of. And each time you tell the Story you can tell it a little differently depending on how you feel that day. And who can stop you from embellishing it a bit, if you want to?

3. Sometimes, seek out adventure

Sometimes, allow yourself to go somewhere where you feel a link to your heart, to your soul. God's not going to allow you to die before your time, unless you are just a Fool and act foolishly. Seek out adventure. Travel. Before the cost of travelling becomes too great.

4. A song well sung and well created is like a Story well told

Collect songs, movies, or whatever touches your heart. It is like a Story well told. And if you are, in addition, blessed by being a Story-Teller, then you have responsibilities as well. To tell Stories as well as you can.

Trade

Trade, with Kevin Kline, is a film about the international human trafficking/sex trade.

I liked the film, but I can't say much about it because it is to some extent unremarkable, except to say that Kevin Kline is good as a cop whose child disappeared a long time ago. So he helps the brother of a Mexican girl who was kidnapped by this ring of traffickers.

All the performances are good. And it is a film that needed to be made, because we should raise awareness of this horrific abuse and enslavement.

The Eye

The Eye (with Jessica Alba in it and Parker Posey) is an interesting film. It's based on a Chinese language film. Jessica Alba has an eye implant, a cornea implant, and then starts seeing visions, hallucinations, disturbing images. Could it be that she's seeing images that the donor of the eyes saw? It's an interesting premise, and it's not just horror for the sake of horror. There is some genuine warmth in the Story, some genuine virtue, some positive amid the horrific images.

When I rented The Eye I didn't know that Parker Posey was in it. I love that actress, and she deserves every cent she earns, whether she's on a lower budget film or gets the big role in a high budget film.

Jessica Alba reminds me more of a sweet girl from high school. She plays well the role of a victim of horrific hallucinations. I can say that I have goodwill toward Jessica Alba, but for some reason Parker Posey makes me laugh (and smile on the inside) a bit more.

What is a Story?

I remember seeing a film about a man. I think it was Peter O'Toole. He had become kind of a sailor, and he was sailing around the Indian Ocean. He was ill. Maybe it was some kind of illness, alcoholism, or whatever. The point was that he got into all kinds of adventures on board ships. And sometimes it wasn't clear that he was going to survive. That's why we turn to films. Films tell a Story. Otherwise we are stuck in ordinary reality. What is always exciting is "What is going to happen next?" Story is all around us. Story is when you strike up a conversation with a stranger and later on she turns out to be your girlfriend, then your wife, then the Mother of your children. Story is when you honor your Father who died in whatever small way you can. We are surrounded by Story, and we are within Story, and Story makes us who we are. If civilization were to break down, if all the machines were to break down, we would still gather around the campfire and tell Stories.